When Roger returned from work one evening he expected the usual hug and warm kiss from his wife Susan, and to be asked about his day at work. But, instead of a warm smile, Susan's face seemed still and cold and he realized that something might be wrong, so he asked. Her answer was short, "Nothing!" The cold face remained for a couple of days. He tried to work out what or who had upset her and whether he had said or done something wrong, but in the end, he gave up because Susan refused to tell him the reason and he could not work it out. He said to his best friend, "Women are a mystery, I can never understand them!

This is a story familiar to many men. How many times have their girlfriends and wives made it hard for them to work out what is wrong? How many times are they left struggling to understand what their women really want? Why do women do this to them?

The answer is very simple; women want their men to know what they want, instead of having to tell them. Women are driven by emotion and they believe that if a man loves her, he will understand what she wants.

A woman is most likely to experience her man's sensitivity at the beginning of their relationship, when he is trying his hardest to win her. He will have observed her interests, listened to her comments and then tried very hard to understand her needs. For instance, if she stops and looks into a jewellery shop window, he might realise that she wants to buy some jewellery and, if he is very keen on her, he may offer to buy it for her. If she mentions that her car has something wrong with it, he will offer to help without being asked. Women really enjoy this type of attention from their men because they translate it as love.

However, as the relationship develops, or after they are married, men's attention to their women often disappears. Now, when the fiancé or wife looks into a jewellery shop window, he will make no response except perhaps to suggest moving on. If she asks his opinion about certain ring, he will just say, "It's up to you." When her car needs to fixing, he will not offer assistance unless asked and will then suggest she take it to the garage. The voluntary offerings are gone and every single thing the woman wants she has to ask for.

Nevertheless, by their nature women are observant to their men's needs at every stage of their relationship and do not need to be asked to do nice things for them. Therefore, a woman expects the same from her man but now, suddenly, she needs to ask for his attention and she feels that this is unfair. It seems to her as though she is giving all the time, while her man is taking all the time.

She will interpret her man's loss of enthusiasm to please her as losing his love and she will become upset. It is part of their protest against their man's ignorance that women start their battle, usually with silence as the main weapon, but they may also become critical or refuse to have sex, or even date other men.

Usually men do not understand this change in their women's emotion until too late, then they may just complain to their mates that women are unpredictable. Even when they know the reason, they still feel it is unnecessary. Why can't women just ask for what they want?

Another factor is that once a man is in a stable relationship, he feels relaxed and comfortable. His enthusiasm for pleasing the girl friend or finding out what she needs is not important any more. His logic has changed to: tell me and I will do it, otherwise how can I know?

But, in order to maintain a loving relationship, the continuation of the man's sensitivity to his woman's needs is important. Despite what he may think, his woman will not be satisfied if he just provides a big house and plenty of money, but she will be very content if he is sensitive to her needs.

My friend Jane tells everyone that she is living in the land of milk and honey because her boyfriend John is such a caring man. He is not financially rich but he is very observant. When Jane lies down on the couch to watching television, John will always give her a pillow to make her comfortable. If she seems to be in the slightest upset, he will hold her hands and ask her what he can do. She drives a secondhand car and he checks it regularly to make sure it is safe for her. John will never be able to afford a waterfront property, but Jane is deeply in love with him.

Quite often women are much simpler than men realise; love is all that is in their minds, so every little thing counts. Men will find it easier to do something if they understand this aspect of the nature of women. Just by being sensitive and attentive they can make their women so happy.