When I told Kathy the information about John, she was very impressed. Yes. He was good looking, professional, plus a positive, cheerful personality. From the phone I could feel kathy’s gratitude of getting this introduction. To my surprise two weeks after Kathy rang me complaining about John. Actually they got on very well, until john started holding her hands and tried to kiss her on the cheeks. She had suspicions about John’s next step after holding hands and kissing on the cheek, also she had doubts about John’s motives of meeting Asian girls, Coincidentally I got the call from John on the same day trying to get more information about Kathy. He presume Kathy was either virgin or a cold fish, otherwise she did not need to be so nerves about holding hands and cutesy kissing.

Was John only looking for sex with Asian ladies? No. I would not think so. He is genuine, educated and honest person. I know if the person was right he would commit himself for a long-term relationship. Was Kathy a virgin or cold fish? I wouldn’t think so, either. I found she is a warm and passionate woman. She is friendly and very respective. What actually happened between them was simply a misunderstanding caused by culture difference, which commonly occurs in the relationships between Asian ladies and western men. That is why to have some knowledge or awareness of the culture background will positively help us to communicate with the people who are different from us.

First of all, let’s have some understanding of Kathy’s culture. Kathy was born in a traditional Chinese family in China. Like most of Asian countries, sex between men and women used to be a mystery. There was no education about that. People, especially women, were not allowed to talk or discuss sex. There were no descriptions about sex in any literary materials. In history, men and women could not have sex before they got married. Pre-marriage sexual relationship was considered as sin. A woman could face sever punishment if she lost her virginity before marriage. Sometimes the penalty could be fatal. Of course in modern society, people, their view and their minds all started changing. They intend to be more open and flexible about the physical relationship between a man and a woman. However because of the deep impact by the culture and history, most Asian women would not have sex with men easily, especially in the early stage of the relationship. They still believe that sex is rather a commitment than enjoyment . While commitment should start from emotion. A man and a woman should have strong feeling for each other before they can start the physical stage of the relationship. Some of them even think physical contact should not be essential if a man and a woman love each other sincerely. Without this part of life, relationship still should work out well if the feeling is genuine. Those who doesn't need strong feeling while still can enjoy the sexual relationship must be playboys or play girls. That is why once starting to have sex with the partners, most of Asian girls are committed mentally, even they may not tell their partners. If the relationship doesn’t work out, the hurts to them can be hundreds times more serious than a non-sexual relationship. Besides there was another history from Asian culture affects modern Asian girls. In the history, Asian men' s attitude towards women were very dominant both emotionally and physically, which made women think that sex was a favor or sacrifice given by a woman to a man, instead of being enjoyable by both parties. So far this belief still exists subconsciously in some Asian ladies minds. Before they can trust and love the person, they would not like to give out or sacrifice too much or to be used , especially while they still have some prejudice against western men about their physical motive, and they still worry about the diseases.

Now let’s also have some understanding about John’s culture. John has strong European background from his upbringings. His father is English and mother is German. Australian culture is the heritage of traditional European culture which could be as conservative as Asian’s. Single men and women would not easily have physical relationship unless they had commitment. However because the freedom of thinking , freedom of expressing and the freedom of doing things in western culture, much earlier than most of Asian cultures, people discovered the beauty of the love between men and women, and from love they also discover the wonderful part of the relationship ---- sex . Some people even used the subject to serve their commercial purposes. If we notice the poems , novels, movies or even some people’s private lives, love, sex always are of interest to people. Not only it interests people, the description of the details by all these authors became part of the education process to the society to have better understanding about the physical part of the relationship. With western culture when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they do not like to hold back their passion. They want to let each other know. Therefore physical touch follows naturally. They mutually enjoy each other's company, and try to please each other both physically and emotionally. Sex becomes one of the important processes of discovering each other before they necessarily make commitment. They don’t need to worry whether they woman is too cheap or whether the other people or the society would condemn them. They also believe the physical or sexual excitement is equally important to the mental stimulation. These two parts shall always compliment to each other and , form the inseparable package of a successful relationship.

From these two cultural backgrounds, we can see the different approach to the concept of sex. Therefore we shall be able to understand that why Kathy was nerves about being held hands, or kissed too early, or why John was confused by Kathy’s reaction towards his warmth and passion. However that doesn’t mean that a man and a woman from different cultural background could not have wonderful physical relationship. Even the culture is rather conservative, like all the other nationalities, Asian girls are human beings as well. Those men who have taken Asian ladies out for a long time, or married them would agree that Asian girls are warm and affectionate. Once they can trust the men, they start to relax. Their passion starts to explore. They may still be little bit shy when they show their passion, but they enjoy so much being touched and loved by the men they love. They appreciate that their needs, satisfaction have been considered and respected by the men during the sexual intercourse, instead of being treated like machine. Result from appreciation they become extremely soft and feminine. They would try all their best to make sure that their men are satisfied as well. Not just the intercourse, they will do more. Sometimes they give their men a body massage, sometimes they bring a hot coffee or a cold drink to their men while they are in bed. Or sometimes they prepare hot water for the men to have a nice bath...

While on the other hand, the openness of western culture in sex department doesn’t change people’s moral. They still believe sincerity and loyalty in the relationship between a man and a woman is most important. They rather have one person for their life than having many without emotion. They would commit themselves both mentally and physically if they have found the right person. They condemn the people who play games in the relationship, and they criticize those who are playing around and hurt people. They strive for the love beyond sexual excitement. Like all the other human beings, they have emotion, too.

Sex is one of the most beautiful parts of the relationship between a man and a woman. It amazingly unites two individuals physically, mentally as well as emotionally . Physical closeness can always stimulate mental and emotional excitement. It becomes glue to stick two souls; a solution for the disagreements and a comfort for life challenges. Healthy sex is vital! The relationship between Asian girls and Western men should not be distracted by cultural differences. Once we can be little bit patient, little bit sensitive about others feeling, and little bit open for communication, even the discussion about sex, a healthy, long-term harmony can almost be achieved!